Just today, we miscarried you.
You were so tiny, just about the size of a little lentil. Your Dad and I had no idea that we could even create you. You were the most amazing surprise and came in the smallest of packaging. We weren’t even trying, but you came anyway. God always knows what we want, even when we might not know it ourselves.
Your brother was excited about you. He had all next summer planned with you, including places he would take you. He planned out his life as a teenager, driving you around, and being someone you would look up to.
The day we found out about you, your brother laid his head on my chest, and wrapped his arms around my little belly with you tucked away safely inside of it. Your Dad then wrapped his arms around your brother and myself, placing his hand firmly over you. You got the biggest group hug from us, because we loved you that much.
Each night, your Dad placed his hand on my stomach, firmly held on to secure you with love and to say “good night”. I talked to you every night, my hand on my belly, telling you how much you were loved.
You were with me when I climbed in two competitions, and it was the most amazing bonding experience in the world! I joked around that when you were born, you would come out climbing, because that is all you would have known.
Each morning as I did my hair or made my breakfast, your Dad would wrap his arms around me, placing both hands on my belly, caressing it, just knowing that bit of love would seep through and help you grow.
Your brother would randomly talk to you, say funny things, and I would pretend to be your translator, “The baby told me it wants omelettes!” Let’s be honest, we both knew that was my cravings talking, but the boys sure thought it was funny.
You were loved every second of every day that you were growing inside of me. Your Dad loved and adored you, and couldn’t wait to share photography with you. Your brother was looking forward to making you a tomboy if you were a girl, or being your “twinsie” if you were a boy.
All of your grandparents were so excited when we told them about you! Everyone was surprised, and you were the answer to so many prayers!
You were conceived in more love than you could imagine with the love of my life, your Dad. You were formed with love surrounding you by everyone in our family and circle of friends.
No matter how tiny you were, your life mattered.
Your Dad and I are closer because of you, and our love grew more than we ever imagined… because of you.
We already miss you, and we will love you forever. We love you, baby “B”.
Mom, Dad, and Gerrick.